Strangely, I find myself in a place where I've so often journaled (is that a verb?) in the past: Tuscany Cafe, the coffee house/bar on Pittsburgh's South Side, which is only a couple blocks from City Theatre.
I had a wonderful breakfast with Amy Hartman this morning, which can only serve to energize me and make me feel good about life and its prospects. She's just such a force of nature, and being around her can only produce one of two reactions: Either you get depressed that you will never have the energy she projects, or you get caught up in it and want to get things done in your own life!
I'm feeling more like the second way today.
The last 1½ weeks, being back in Pittsburgh, have been really weird - in a liberating and wonderful way. I've gone on dates, and met some guys from the Pittsburgh chatroom, and generally done a lot of the things that I think I missed out on from the days before I met Gavan and had so many self-esteem issues. Before I met Gavan, I didn't think I was the kinda guy that others would want to meet - but I've found since that's not true. At least not any more.
I can't believe it's been six months since Gavan and I broke up, and I'm only now feeling good about going out and meeting other people, and making connections beyond the obvious for a gay man.
I've been reluctant to talk about him with anyone because it's so new and exciting, but I've been corresponding with a guy in New York City in anticipation of getting back there and starting my life again. His name is David, and from what I know of him - as much as you can learn from a personal ad and corresponding via e-mail - he seems like such a nice guy. I think we're both just taking it easy and enjoying the fact that we've found a kindred spirit. And neither of us is in any particular hurry to rush into anything... being very level headed about the whole thing. We've both been through the experience of meeting people over the 'net, so we're being very level headed. At least I hope we are!
We've only been writing back and forth for about three weeks, but, as I told him in my last e-mail, I've gotten to the point where I rush to my inbox the way a kid from the fifties would run to his mailbox looking for a secret decoder ring. He's just witty and smart and a good writer - and remarkably unselfish and unafraid when it comes to offering his real thoughts on a matter.
So we'll see. Now that I'm waking up from the self-imposed fog of the breakup, it just seems that - even with the stupid setbacks of earlier this summer - life seems just chock full of interesting possibilities again. And the funny thing is that it never really stopped feeling that way, but all the stupid crap that happened to was just enough shit piled on to make me hesitant to reach out and grasp those possibilities. I'm looking forward once more to what life has to offer.
I had a wonderful breakfast with Amy Hartman this morning, which can only serve to energize me and make me feel good about life and its prospects. She's just such a force of nature, and being around her can only produce one of two reactions: Either you get depressed that you will never have the energy she projects, or you get caught up in it and want to get things done in your own life!
I'm feeling more like the second way today.
The last 1½ weeks, being back in Pittsburgh, have been really weird - in a liberating and wonderful way. I've gone on dates, and met some guys from the Pittsburgh chatroom, and generally done a lot of the things that I think I missed out on from the days before I met Gavan and had so many self-esteem issues. Before I met Gavan, I didn't think I was the kinda guy that others would want to meet - but I've found since that's not true. At least not any more.
I can't believe it's been six months since Gavan and I broke up, and I'm only now feeling good about going out and meeting other people, and making connections beyond the obvious for a gay man.
I've been reluctant to talk about him with anyone because it's so new and exciting, but I've been corresponding with a guy in New York City in anticipation of getting back there and starting my life again. His name is David, and from what I know of him - as much as you can learn from a personal ad and corresponding via e-mail - he seems like such a nice guy. I think we're both just taking it easy and enjoying the fact that we've found a kindred spirit. And neither of us is in any particular hurry to rush into anything... being very level headed about the whole thing. We've both been through the experience of meeting people over the 'net, so we're being very level headed. At least I hope we are!
We've only been writing back and forth for about three weeks, but, as I told him in my last e-mail, I've gotten to the point where I rush to my inbox the way a kid from the fifties would run to his mailbox looking for a secret decoder ring. He's just witty and smart and a good writer - and remarkably unselfish and unafraid when it comes to offering his real thoughts on a matter.
So we'll see. Now that I'm waking up from the self-imposed fog of the breakup, it just seems that - even with the stupid setbacks of earlier this summer - life seems just chock full of interesting possibilities again. And the funny thing is that it never really stopped feeling that way, but all the stupid crap that happened to was just enough shit piled on to make me hesitant to reach out and grasp those possibilities. I'm looking forward once more to what life has to offer.
No comments:
Post a Comment