Today is my father's birthday. He's 73. Like many men of my generation - hell, of any generation - my relationship with my father has been rocky. True to all the cliches, my relationship with my dad has improved as I've gotten older. I've come to recognize that he's something so much more than I ever thought he was as a child. Isn't that kinda funny? I think that most kids are shocked to find out that their parents are somehow less than they imagined as children, but as I've gotten older I've developed an appreciation for so many of the qualities my dad displayed that I could never have recognized as a child, or even as a selfish teenager.
Mostly I think about his self-sacrifice. How must his life, as it ended up, differed from what he wanted when he was a young man, I wonder? What dreams did he give up to be a good father, to help support and raise a growing brood he probably never suspected he'd have? A few years ago, I turned 35, and I remember being taken aback at the thought that by the time he was my age, my dad was responsible for a family of eight children (not alone, certainly, but with my mother), and I remember thinking that some how I didn't compare favorably.
In many ways, though, I think my dad would disagree. I've never actually sat down and talked to him about this, but I've always gotten the sense that my father, who is a pretty simple man in many ways (and I mean that in the "uncomplicated" sense, as opposed to the "dumb as a post" sense), ended up happy, for the most part. Or maybe not so much happy, since I don't think he dwells on those sorts of concepts, but content, at least, with the feeling that his life is what it is - there's no going back and starting over. I get the impression that my dad is okay with the choices he made.
I hope that when I'm 73, I feel the same way. Happy birthday, Dad. I love you.
Mostly I think about his self-sacrifice. How must his life, as it ended up, differed from what he wanted when he was a young man, I wonder? What dreams did he give up to be a good father, to help support and raise a growing brood he probably never suspected he'd have? A few years ago, I turned 35, and I remember being taken aback at the thought that by the time he was my age, my dad was responsible for a family of eight children (not alone, certainly, but with my mother), and I remember thinking that some how I didn't compare favorably.
In many ways, though, I think my dad would disagree. I've never actually sat down and talked to him about this, but I've always gotten the sense that my father, who is a pretty simple man in many ways (and I mean that in the "uncomplicated" sense, as opposed to the "dumb as a post" sense), ended up happy, for the most part. Or maybe not so much happy, since I don't think he dwells on those sorts of concepts, but content, at least, with the feeling that his life is what it is - there's no going back and starting over. I get the impression that my dad is okay with the choices he made.
I hope that when I'm 73, I feel the same way. Happy birthday, Dad. I love you.
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