“’The thought that anyone would really want to live here is still ridiculous to her - she doesn't understand. She's a country girl at heart, though I suspect the fact that she was working on a project across the river in Jersey on September 11th has a little something to do with it. ‘
“Well land 'o goshen, gee whiz! I 's jest out back near to the cement pond, sloppin the hogs and heppin Jethro is chop up wood fer the stove!
“It's not that I can't relate to it, I would love to live there, but quite frankly, my LIFE is here. Truth be told, I very much enjoyed being in Jersey (oh, so close to NY) jumping at the opportunity to return. I wistfully look at the skyline photos, hustling, bustling, excitement - all the while realizing that I have built obligations, family, job, and the like - here. Where I can make a decent wage and not have to live with three people to make the rent.
“We just have different lives is all, I'm closer to my family - and enjoy being so. It's not a bad thing, in spite of what you may think. I voluntarily gave up the dream of making my living in theatre because I wasn't willing to sacrifice more than three years of gainful income to pursue it. I got tired of living penny to penny and having nothing to show for it.
“I appreciate that you enjoy living in NY and hope that you can see all your dreams to fruition. However, I also look at the time you’ve spent there and ask what has NY done for you? Besides having a swell park with beautiful scenery?”
Clearly, I was wrong to assume Toni’s motivation for not wanting to live in New York, and I’ve apologized to her. It’s a fascinating example of what happens when you assume things about people – even people you know well. It’s also a really good example of what happens when you don’t think very carefully about the things you write. I never imagined that my calling her a “country girl at heart” would be construed in any way other than the way I meant it: Someone of traditional values, who enjoys a close and loving and supportive relationship with her family, and doesn’t see the need to stray too far from a home environment to find fulfillment. I actually kinda meant it as a compliment! But that’s the problem with writing brief snippets of thoughts that end up unedited before a mass audience, I guess. Too, I kinda signed up to accept this sort of butt-kicking when I decided to record my thoughts in a journal that anyone can read – so I thought it only fair that I include her response.
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