I'm a Whinging Child

Sometimes I'm amazed at how much growing I have to do, yet. Just when I think that I'm getting to a point where I can stand on my own and be content with what I am, just when I think it might just be okay to be me, I have a day like today.

Today I learned that the nominations had been announced for the Barrymore Awards (almost a month ago, actually), and I was hit by this wave of emotions that was a mixture mostly of anger and hurt over the fact that Pavilion had been completely passed up for these awards.

I'm a little taken aback at how wounded I was to have been ignored for my work on that show, though I don't suppose it's anything other than human to enjoy being recognized for work well done. But boy, was it weird to feel those things right in the midst of trying to reach a state wherein I'd attained some balance.

What as the Somerset Maugham quote...?

... something like that, I guess.

So, there you have it. I guess that's why we're supposed to think of life as a journey, and not as a destination, right?

I know it's been quite a while since I've written, and some of you out there are likely to kick my ass about it - in fact, several of you already have. I have, truth be told, been pretty fucking busy, you know!

So I got back to the city on the evening of August 25th, and started at The Population Council the very next day. I knew that I was in for a hard couple of weeks, so I've been laying low.

On Friday the 30th, I boarded an 8:40 bus for Pittsburgh - and got there at 6:15 a.m. the next morning. And went almost immediately to my sister Sue's house to drag my Renaissance Festival garb out of storage, so I could go directly to the Greater Pittsburgh Renaissance Festival and help out my friend Dave Flick in his stage show, The Sheriff and Feck Show.

I don't think I've mentioned it here in the journal before because I wasn't sure I was going to be able to pull it off, but it seems to be working out. So as long as I can put up with not having a day off for the next month, I'm gonna have a boatload of extra money. Which is good.

Here are the major players in my weekends, now. From the left are Dave Flick, who plays the Sheriff of the Village of Morlandshire (the fictional hamlet in which the Greater Pittsburgh Renaissance Festival takes place). To Dave's right is Erin Brown nee Gallagher, who plays Queen Rosalind, the "Ribald Queen." Next to Erin is Melissa, whose last name I should damn well know, since she's Dave's ex, but it's escaping me right now. Finally, next to Melissa is Dan Brown, who plays King Edward, the (as I've named him) "Surly King."

So late Monday night (we did three days last weekend 'cuz of the Labor Day weekend!) I boarded an overnight bus back to New York City and went immediately to work at The Population Council.

So you'll have to forgive me for not being terribly forthcoming the entries lately.

Between working full time and doing an improv comedy show 8 times a weekend and having existential life crisises about how complete and non-needy a person I am or am not, I've been a little freakin' busy - so forgive me or don't, I don't care. I still love you.