The Unbearable Lightness of Apple

So, you know that I have a checkered past with money, and as a result I live without credit cards.

Maybe you didn't know that, but I do.

It's not by choice. The credit card companies don't trust me with their money yet. And I don't blame them. Someday, after I've crawled to Rome on my knees and cleaned up my mess, they will, but for now, not so much.

It makes life difficult when you want to rent a car, but otherwise, I'm kinda happy that I don't have much debt. And what debt I have is disappearing. Which is good.

But there are times when my impulse-buy personality can get me into trouble. Champagne tastes on a beer income, as it were.

I had just such an experience the other day when I wandered into the new Apple Store on 5th Avenue. I was bound and determined to get a new pair of earbuds (budget: $39+tax) for my iPod Shuffle (which, I'll remind you, I didn't actually purchase for myself, but was given as a gift last year by a rather kick-ass boss).

It was like walking into the lion's den, my friends.

It was all I could do -- wandering pie-eyed among the gleaming, beautiful electronics -- to resist the call of the new iPod. A little devil on my shoulder kept whispering, "You know, you've got $450 dollars in your bank account. And then some. If you spend it on a new iPod, you'll make up the missing money by the time rent's due again!"

Which may or may not be true, but isn't, really, the point. I've got other things to be spending that money on, in addition to rent. Like bills, for instance. Or, if there's extra maybe, say, getting my computer fixed. Or, first in line, paying back a generous recent loan by a family member.

But see, my brain doesn't work that way, dear friends. I'm an instant-gratification sorta guy. When presented with something I want -- particularly a shiny piece of electronic gadgetry -- my eyes tend to gloss over and the part of my brain that deals with long-range planning and consequences just kinda goes away.

It's true. The major monetary disasters I've experienced in my life have been entirely because of the inbred brand of consumerism run amok that television advertising teaches us. I just do it like I'm on speed with the fiscal shut-off gene not installed on my DNA helix. I don't blame anyone but me, by the way, but there it is.

Thankfully, this time I escaped unscathed. I was tempted -- like Jesus at Gethsemene, only without the god complex -- and came out the other side. I felt a little like Kate Blanchett as Galadriel in The Return of the King, after Frodo offers her the One Ring. Only without the whole blue face thingy.