Riddle me this, Batman:
When was the last time you actually bought an umbrella?
The weather here in New York was supposed to turn colder and rainy this afternoon, and I've been thinking for a while that I'm a little over all the ultra-mini promotional umbrellas that I've got laying around, and it was time to get a decent umbrella that will protect me from a serious rainfall, but isn't one of those walking-pavilion-golf-umbrella monstrosities that make me want to kill my fellow pedestrians.
So I got to thinking about it, and I seriously think the last time I bought an umbrella was over fifteen years ago, when I got a Rose Window umbrella at some museum shop or another. I loved that umbrella. It was large without being obnoxious, it was sturdy, with a nice wooden handle. It tucked neatly into a strap on my backpack, so I could whip it out over my shoulder like a samurai brandishing his katana. I freakin' loved that umbrella. Apparently, I'm not alone.
Of course, I lost it at some point, and everything since then has paled in comparison.
With the coming rain, I need to find a replacement. And I don't have the tiniest idea where one shops for an umbrella of substance. Macy's, perhaps? Bloomingdales? I'm certainly not buying one from one of those street vendors. That's what got me into this foul bumbershoot mood to begin with.
Last night as I was walking home from work, having listened all day to the dire predictions of impending downpour (we, after all, get CNN and NY1 piped into every lobby/waiting area), so I stopped at this t-shirt/tourist crap emporium on 7th Avenue, near the 57th Street stop on the Q train. I'd see umbrella's on a rack there before, during (marketing genuis!) a rain storm.
So I went into this place and the guy's all, "Can I help you?" and I'm all, "Umbrellas?" and he's all, "What size?" and I'm all, "Not miniature."
The guy reaches around and pulls out what, at first glance, seems to be the perfect umbrella. Nice wooden handle (curved, not one of those awful stave-like things), a tasteful black. All in all, it looked good. 'Til I put the tip of it on the ground, like a walking stick, and realized that the handle reached almost to my chest.
I turned to the guy, who's looking at me like, "Are you gonna buy the fucking thing, or what?" and I say, "Uh, do you have anything a little bit shorter?"
"Nope, one size fits all, pal," he says, turning back to the chickie he's smooth talking.
No sale, and the search continues.
When was the last time you actually bought an umbrella?
The weather here in New York was supposed to turn colder and rainy this afternoon, and I've been thinking for a while that I'm a little over all the ultra-mini promotional umbrellas that I've got laying around, and it was time to get a decent umbrella that will protect me from a serious rainfall, but isn't one of those walking-pavilion-golf-umbrella monstrosities that make me want to kill my fellow pedestrians.
So I got to thinking about it, and I seriously think the last time I bought an umbrella was over fifteen years ago, when I got a Rose Window umbrella at some museum shop or another. I loved that umbrella. It was large without being obnoxious, it was sturdy, with a nice wooden handle. It tucked neatly into a strap on my backpack, so I could whip it out over my shoulder like a samurai brandishing his katana. I freakin' loved that umbrella. Apparently, I'm not alone.Of course, I lost it at some point, and everything since then has paled in comparison.
With the coming rain, I need to find a replacement. And I don't have the tiniest idea where one shops for an umbrella of substance. Macy's, perhaps? Bloomingdales? I'm certainly not buying one from one of those street vendors. That's what got me into this foul bumbershoot mood to begin with.
Last night as I was walking home from work, having listened all day to the dire predictions of impending downpour (we, after all, get CNN and NY1 piped into every lobby/waiting area), so I stopped at this t-shirt/tourist crap emporium on 7th Avenue, near the 57th Street stop on the Q train. I'd see umbrella's on a rack there before, during (marketing genuis!) a rain storm.
So I went into this place and the guy's all, "Can I help you?" and I'm all, "Umbrellas?" and he's all, "What size?" and I'm all, "Not miniature."
The guy reaches around and pulls out what, at first glance, seems to be the perfect umbrella. Nice wooden handle (curved, not one of those awful stave-like things), a tasteful black. All in all, it looked good. 'Til I put the tip of it on the ground, like a walking stick, and realized that the handle reached almost to my chest.
I turned to the guy, who's looking at me like, "Are you gonna buy the fucking thing, or what?" and I say, "Uh, do you have anything a little bit shorter?"
"Nope, one size fits all, pal," he says, turning back to the chickie he's smooth talking.
No sale, and the search continues.
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