07 November 2009

I'm In a Relationship

No one's ever going to accuse me of being a touchy-feely kinda guy.

I know this comes as a great shock to you.

The truth is that, even though my heart aches at the plight of the homeless, I'm sickened by the slaughter that passes for daily life in so many parts of the world and I tear up as soon as a Hallmark commercial appears on the tube, I'm not necessarily an effulgent guy, when it comes to my own emotions. I'm not – emotionally – the most available of people.

So it's a rare treat when, as happened a few days ago, I was lying in bed with The Pants while we were both doing our own thing (I don't mean to suggest that we're creatures of habit, but I can almost guarantee that we had our laptops deployed -- him hip-deep in a game of online Monopoly and me playing World of Warcraft) when we eschewed our online pursuits for a little snuggle time.

Don't gag, this is going somewhere.

So, there we were, holding each other, doing a little gazing into each other's eyes, and The Pants blurted out, "I'm in a relationship!" As if it were somehow a surprise.

And, in a way, I suppose it was. The Pants isn't a guy, I suspect (or at least, I've gleaned from conversations we've had over the last couple of years) who ever thought he'd find himself in a relationship. It's actually kind of fun to watch him have the realization every once in a while. He gets a wee bit gobsmacked by the thought, which is (and perhaps I ought to examine the motivation behind this) delightful and – to me – charming.

The thing, though, is that as much as I like to laugh at/with The Pants when he has these moments, I'm no different. There are times when I stop in my tracks and think, "Holy shit. After Fozzie, I thought I was never, ever, going to let this happen again." And here I find myself with someone who, genuinely, loves and accepts (there's the key point) me for exactly who I am. I don't think most people get just how rare a phenomenon this is; how unusual it is to find someone who projects nothing onto the person they love. I can speak from experience in suggesting exactly how rare it is, and even offer an indictment of myself in saying that though I've found it in The Pants, I'm not entirely sure how lucky he's been in this regard, as much as I struggle against it.

So – despite my conviction I would never find someone who saw me as me, as opposed to their idea of me – I guess therein lies the lesson. The Universe rarely takes your plans into account when tossing stuff into your path.

Difficult to remember, but inevitably a good thing to keep in mind.

I guess I'm just lucky the unexpected crap it threw in front is so adorable.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Joe, Geo J here from CCAC. What advice do you have for young people following you...spooky!