26 March 2001

The Illiad

Yet another day off. I drove back to Pittsburgh again last night. And I did it through a blizzard that lasted from Bedford, PA to Donegal, PA - nearly sixty miles at speeds ranging from 30 to 40 mph on the Pennsylvania Turnpike. Those of you who know it know it's an already infamously lame road... it's even more so, I'm here to tell you, when only one lane is cleared of snow and you're stuck behind morons who are light years beyond appropriately cautious for driving in a snowstorm. This freak in a Mitsubishi kept stomping on his brakes for no good reason, sending everyone behind him careening all over the roadway. I suspect I'm lucky to have made it home alive.

Whew. Just came off of a five-show weekend, and boy, was I beat when I got home! It was nice to see Gavan, though, so the trip was worth it.

I've got to share a discovery I've made about Philadelphia theater audiences, and I'll preface it by assuring you that I recognize it's a generalization and not really fair to everyone, but here it is nonetheless: People who attend Philadelphia theater have an over-developed sense of entitlement, and bladders the size of commas. Picasso runs a little over ninety minutes, and several signs in the lobby, as well as the house manager announce that fact before the show starts, leaving, in my estimation, a fair chance for everyone to empty their bladders before sitting down to enjoy the show. But I can't tell you how many people get up and walk out during our show, only to return a few minutes later. I can only assume it's to use the restroom. What the fuck is wrong with these people that they can't hold their bladders for 90 damn minutes?!? And don't they think that it's distracting for an actor who's only ten feet away from them as they cut in front of the entire audience to get to the exit?

My actor friends and I joke a lot about theater audiences and how so many of them think that watching a play is like sitting in front of their televisions (you know, with the constant chatter and the tendency so many of us have to talk back to the TV?), but this is absolutely amazing. I have never, in nearly 20 years of acting on the stage, seen anything even remotely like it.

I wonder if it has something to do with the independant spirit of Philadelphia's revolutionary forefathers? I mean, any group of people willing to throw off a reigning monarch over taxation without representation is surely going to sire progeny who have no compunction about attending to their bodily needs whenever the hell they damn well please.

Just a thought.

Oh, and I finally got to bring my laptop home and load all the programs that I wanted to on it. And the idea of facing that drive back to Philly tomorrow so depressed me that I got online and made reservations to fly back, and then to fly home after the show is over. It's only two weeks away, and I think I should be able to mash everything I have to bring back into my suitcases. And everything that won't fit into the suitcases is getting shipped home via UPS or something. It'll be worth it not to have to drive back and forth two more times. Of course, the more I think about it, the more I sit here doubting myself, but what the hell, I bought the ticket so it's too late. Actually, this flight might just throw me over the amount I need for a free flight with my Dividend Miles® account. We'll see.

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