Mothers' Day

So many of us grew up with that false Harriet Nelson expectationof our mothers (well, actually for me it was Carol Brady and Mom Partridge) that we tend to forget that that kind of mother is a fantasy. Most moms are just human beings - flawed, struggling, sometimes unhappy with their lots in life, unfulfilled - and we forget that most of them are trying to figure the whole thing out as they go along. They make mistakes. Sometimes a lot of them. Sometimes so many that kids end up feeling scarred from their childhood experiences.

I'm lucky enough to have avoided most of that. My mom had had a chance to get some practice in on my older brothers and sisters, and I suspect, now that I'm an adult, that she was probably all of those things at one time or another. But she managed to keep most of that from me. I'm not saying my mom was a saint, but she lived her life by a set of principles that sorta filtered down, and a lot of the principles that I try to uphold - kindness, tolerance, caring for others, passion for life - are things that I learned from her.

That's why it's so weird to be here in New York on Mothers Day. I mean, I'm sure that I've been away from Pittsburgh before... I just don't ever remember feeling it quite so much. Maybe it has something to do with being new here in the city, and not having my close friends around to distract me, or even more likely, not having work to distract me.

So like a big ol' sissy, I'm missing my mommy! I just called her (they're getting WAY to technologically advanced... they dumped the answering machine for voice-mail and got a computer) and left a message. I suspect that if I give it a try, I can catch her later today at my sister Susie's house, which I'll do.

Probably what's hardest is missing that rare chance I have to get together with my family. Much of our family history is rather contentious, and we don't see each other as much as some families do, but that doesn't mean I don't treasure every chance to get to see them. And seeing them on holidays like Mother's Day is even more special, since I know that we're going to have so few chances to see each other the rest of the year - busy as our lives are.

So I'm here in my New York apartment, and I've just sent off an e-mail with a little picture of me waving "hello" attached, and I'm wishing my mom and two sisters a fabulous day and a joyous gathering. I'll be there in spirit!