Even though I haven't written in a while, life's been pretty busy, as you can imagine. Usually, if I go for long absences without writing, it's because I'm depressed and feeling awful about life, so there doesn't seem to be much point in crowing about it, but this time I'm happy to report it's different. I mean, I always have something worrying me - that's built in - especially with a big move having been looming on the horizon for a while, but for once I can happily report that I've just been too damn busy to put the effort in to update this journal.
I got to spend a fantastic Thanksgiving holiday with my family - it was good to see them. I think it'd been over six months since I'd seen my mom & dad. You're not supposed to say this sort of thing about people who might end up reading what you're writing, but I have to say I was struck by how my parents seemed, to me, to have aged. And the thing is, they probably haven't aged any differently than they have in the last few years, but because I'm going months at a time without seeing them, I'm noticing it more when I do.
I've been thinking a lot about my mom and dad, lately. About the similarities and the differences between us. I see so much of them in me as I grow older, but in many ways we're so incredibly different. Can you tell he loves to have his picture taken? He's a kinda cute old guy, isn't he? But boy, he surely doesn't care much for dressing up - that tee-shirt was his Thanksgiving attire. My mom's the same way - I guess she (and my dad) figure they've reached an age where they're not out to impress anyone - they're just interested in being comfortable. I used to be embarrassed by my family because I thought they were unsophisticated and kind of hickish (have I written about this before? I just had the strongest sense of deja vu), but I learned that the only person I needed to be embarrassed by we me... I can't believe I ever felt that way about these kind, genuine people who would literally do anything for you. Granted, you might hear about it for the rest of your life, but it would get done. In need, my family is unstintingly giving to each other, and sometimes I amaze myself that I could have ever been so shallow and thoughtless as to think ill of them. And just plain wrong, too, when you think about it. There's a bit difference between dressing and acting in a way the world thinks of as being "unsophisticated" and actually being unsophisticated. My folks (and my siblings, too) are some of the sharpest, wittiest people I know - and I certainly wouldn't be half the wit or thinker that I am had they not raised me.
So here's a picture of my brother Dan carving the Thanksgiving bird, and my mom sitting on her little stool with my nieces Mandy, Maggie, and Sarah. Dan is the brother who I most closely resemble... somebody walked up to me and wished me good luck at his wedding. I figured I was finally going to get away from the mistaken identity thing when I lost 25 pounds and got skinny. Unfortunately (or fortunately, I'm not sure which), Danny's going through a divorce, and not a particularly nice one, either. So with the stress and worry of that, he's lost a ton of weight. We're back to looking alike. I like to tease him that I have more hair, but give me another three or four years. I'm his age, I'll probably be bald as a cue ball.
When I arrived at the house, I discovered my mom sitting on that stool in the corner of the kitchen, supervising the preparation of the meal (actually, she was just sitting around slinging the bull, but she looked very official there), and I told her that she looked like a studda-bubba of old, sternly watching over the daughters-in-law in the old country. She said to me, "Well, I'm The Matriarch now." Apparently, my siblings have take to calling her "The Matriarch," which I think is a total hoot. Anyway, here's The Matriarch with my sister Sue and her daughter Maggie again. Three generations. It makes me shudder. And believe it or not, I've got nieces and nephews with children of their own. My mom is a great-grammy. Matriarch, indeed.
All in all, it was a lovely holiday, and I'm happy to have had the chance to spend it with my family. Thankfully, gone are the days when dinner with my family was a chore to be survived, not an experience to be relished. Don't get me wrong, my family's not perfect, and there's still stuff about them that bugs me - as I'm sure there's stuff about me that annoys them - but the last couple of years have been like discovering a whole new set of friends. The seventies were not kind too our family - a lot of bad shit happened that tore us apart, and it's only now, twenty-five years later, that we're getting to know and appreciate each other again. I often tell my friends that it's a great time to be me. Life is always interesting, to be sure.
I got to spend a fantastic Thanksgiving holiday with my family - it was good to see them. I think it'd been over six months since I'd seen my mom & dad. You're not supposed to say this sort of thing about people who might end up reading what you're writing, but I have to say I was struck by how my parents seemed, to me, to have aged. And the thing is, they probably haven't aged any differently than they have in the last few years, but because I'm going months at a time without seeing them, I'm noticing it more when I do.I've been thinking a lot about my mom and dad, lately. About the similarities and the differences between us. I see so much of them in me as I grow older, but in many ways we're so incredibly different. Can you tell he loves to have his picture taken? He's a kinda cute old guy, isn't he? But boy, he surely doesn't care much for dressing up - that tee-shirt was his Thanksgiving attire. My mom's the same way - I guess she (and my dad) figure they've reached an age where they're not out to impress anyone - they're just interested in being comfortable. I used to be embarrassed by my family because I thought they were unsophisticated and kind of hickish (have I written about this before? I just had the strongest sense of deja vu), but I learned that the only person I needed to be embarrassed by we me... I can't believe I ever felt that way about these kind, genuine people who would literally do anything for you. Granted, you might hear about it for the rest of your life, but it would get done. In need, my family is unstintingly giving to each other, and sometimes I amaze myself that I could have ever been so shallow and thoughtless as to think ill of them. And just plain wrong, too, when you think about it. There's a bit difference between dressing and acting in a way the world thinks of as being "unsophisticated" and actually being unsophisticated. My folks (and my siblings, too) are some of the sharpest, wittiest people I know - and I certainly wouldn't be half the wit or thinker that I am had they not raised me.
So here's a picture of my brother Dan carving the Thanksgiving bird, and my mom sitting on her little stool with my nieces Mandy, Maggie, and Sarah. Dan is the brother who I most closely resemble... somebody walked up to me and wished me good luck at his wedding. I figured I was finally going to get away from the mistaken identity thing when I lost 25 pounds and got skinny. Unfortunately (or fortunately, I'm not sure which), Danny's going through a divorce, and not a particularly nice one, either. So with the stress and worry of that, he's lost a ton of weight. We're back to looking alike. I like to tease him that I have more hair, but give me another three or four years. I'm his age, I'll probably be bald as a cue ball. When I arrived at the house, I discovered my mom sitting on that stool in the corner of the kitchen, supervising the preparation of the meal (actually, she was just sitting around slinging the bull, but she looked very official there), and I told her that she looked like a studda-bubba of old, sternly watching over the daughters-in-law in the old country. She said to me, "Well, I'm The Matriarch now." Apparently, my siblings have take to calling her "The Matriarch," which I think is a total hoot. Anyway, here's The Matriarch with my sister Sue and her daughter Maggie again. Three generations. It makes me shudder. And believe it or not, I've got nieces and nephews with children of their own. My mom is a great-grammy. Matriarch, indeed.All in all, it was a lovely holiday, and I'm happy to have had the chance to spend it with my family. Thankfully, gone are the days when dinner with my family was a chore to be survived, not an experience to be relished. Don't get me wrong, my family's not perfect, and there's still stuff about them that bugs me - as I'm sure there's stuff about me that annoys them - but the last couple of years have been like discovering a whole new set of friends. The seventies were not kind too our family - a lot of bad shit happened that tore us apart, and it's only now, twenty-five years later, that we're getting to know and appreciate each other again. I often tell my friends that it's a great time to be me. Life is always interesting, to be sure.
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