Sometimes I'm worried that living in this city has hardened me more than I would like.
Sometimes I'm afraid that I'm not really as nice a person as I'd like to think I am. I've been awful to people in my life. I've been mean-spirited.
I think about this because I've been in a position lately to sit and listen, unobserved, while someone I know is all of these things, and I have to sit and ask myself: Am I this way?
There's an old saying - I don't even know where I first heard it, though I'm pretty sure this one didn't come from my mother (that font of what little wisdom I've managed to absorb), and it's one I've believed very firmly all of my life. And that's this: "The things you like least about other people are the things you like least about yourself."
And it's true. I hate judgmental people. I hate gossips. I hate people who need to make others feel inferior to make themselves feel good. And I well and truly hate smart people - people who're most aware of the power of words - who use words to wound others.
Okay, truth be told, I don't hate these people... I reserve "hate" for pretty heinous stuff, stuff I'm not entirely sure I've come across yet. But I really, really don't like to see people engaging in these behaviors, and I tend afterward to be less than kindly disposed toward them.
But it gives rise to some serious thoughts, doesn't it, that I react so strongly to these people? Because just as surely as I don't like other people engaging in these behaviors, I don't like it when I do, as well. And I do. I find myself, God help me, wanting to say to homeless guys, "Get a job!" I find myself thinking hateful things about tourists moving slowly along the sidewalks and peering up at Manhattan's impressive architectural legacy. I find myself making fun of odd characters that abundantly populate this city. And I wonder, "Where's the line?" What's the difference between bemusement at the vast, odd assortment of characters who roam the city in which I live, and ridicule of them; feeling superior to them?
The thing I like most about myself has always been my humility. Am I in danger of losing that?
PS: By the way, does pride in your own humility cancel it out? It's a line of reasoning I'm not sure I want to follow. }8o(
Sometimes I'm afraid that I'm not really as nice a person as I'd like to think I am. I've been awful to people in my life. I've been mean-spirited.
I think about this because I've been in a position lately to sit and listen, unobserved, while someone I know is all of these things, and I have to sit and ask myself: Am I this way?
There's an old saying - I don't even know where I first heard it, though I'm pretty sure this one didn't come from my mother (that font of what little wisdom I've managed to absorb), and it's one I've believed very firmly all of my life. And that's this: "The things you like least about other people are the things you like least about yourself."
And it's true. I hate judgmental people. I hate gossips. I hate people who need to make others feel inferior to make themselves feel good. And I well and truly hate smart people - people who're most aware of the power of words - who use words to wound others.
Okay, truth be told, I don't hate these people... I reserve "hate" for pretty heinous stuff, stuff I'm not entirely sure I've come across yet. But I really, really don't like to see people engaging in these behaviors, and I tend afterward to be less than kindly disposed toward them.
But it gives rise to some serious thoughts, doesn't it, that I react so strongly to these people? Because just as surely as I don't like other people engaging in these behaviors, I don't like it when I do, as well. And I do. I find myself, God help me, wanting to say to homeless guys, "Get a job!" I find myself thinking hateful things about tourists moving slowly along the sidewalks and peering up at Manhattan's impressive architectural legacy. I find myself making fun of odd characters that abundantly populate this city. And I wonder, "Where's the line?" What's the difference between bemusement at the vast, odd assortment of characters who roam the city in which I live, and ridicule of them; feeling superior to them?
The thing I like most about myself has always been my humility. Am I in danger of losing that?
PS: By the way, does pride in your own humility cancel it out? It's a line of reasoning I'm not sure I want to follow. }8o(
No comments:
Post a Comment