Taxi-way Notes

Boarding on my flight to West Palm was delayed by 1¼ hours, and now that we've boarded, we've been told that we're going to be sitting on the taxi way for 1½ hours before we get out o here. I'm doing my best to keep it together, but there's a pretty good chance I'm gonna freak on the little kid who's sitting directly behind me and kicking my seat and thumping her tray table. There are times when I feel as though I'm not such a nice person, for thinking these things.

I'm astounded, often, by the craziness of the world at large. People just amaze me. I'm seated next to a French woman who lives in Palm Beach... she's crocked already, having gotten on the airplane with a full plastic cup of white wine. I knew I was in trouble when she saw down. Almost immediately - despite the fact that I was reading a book - she decided she she just had to chat me up. Where was I going? Did I tell my family that I would be late? Was I visiting my mother? My girlfriend? Then she decided to excuse herself to the toilet. As if I was going to have any objection to her getting the hell out of my face.

Mother of God, but I hate children. This little snotbag behind me is just an ungodly little bitch! She's moaning about how bored she is, and how she can't even color, and when her mom tries to shush her she whines so that she can be heard at the back of the airplane, "I'm whispering! I know when I'm whispering! Don't talk to me like that, 'cuz I don't like it!" Is it so wrong to want to punch a child in the face? It is, isn't it?

Okay, the worst part of this is the Roman Catholic part of me thinks, "How are you gonna feel about thinking these things if this plane goes down?" Ah, guilt. There are some things that never, ever go away.

The crazy drunk French woman just shouted, "Stop it!" at the top of her lungs at the unruly children behind us! I almost died of embarrassment at the same time I thrilled with gratitude!

Uh oh - the kid behind and between us just kicked the seat... I'm afraid she might raise the ire of the sleeping monster to my left. So much for the happy drunk, huh?

So now, the flight attendants have decided to lighten the mood by playing a trivia game. They're passing out napkins with some sort of prize written on them.

Forced joviality. Just what I need.