On Observing

Boy, the strange things you find when going through old books in the library:

"On observing homosexus hotticus:

"...take great care not to startle the homosexus hotticus when attempting to observe him in his habitat. Direct eye contact can cause the specimen to develop a condition (prevalent among mating males encountering unappealing potential mates) known as "the glassy eye," in which the eyes unfocus and the head jerks nearly 90º left or right in an attempt to (a) communicate disinterest and (b) remove the offending unappealing potential mate from view as quickly as possible.


"Surreptitious observation is best; an hotticus aware of the observation is likely to exhibit either an heightened level of discomfort, or -- if during its (perpetual) mating season -- an attitude not dissimilar to that of pavo cristatus during its own mating ritual. In either case, the opportunity to best enjoy the splendor of homosexus hotticus is increased a hundredfold when the specimen is unaware of the observation."

-- Albert Russell Wallace "Letter from Sarawago Island [S18: 1855]"