I wish I had seen this review before I ever rented Locked Up. This film is as close as you get to being a porn film without actually being one. And once I watched the special features -- and the deleted scenes -- I realized that's exactly what the director set out to make. No pretension to art, he just wanted to make a porn film!
Lord.
Don't get me wrong. It's not that I have any problem with the objectification of unnaturally beautiful men, but whoa! Maybe a little truth in advertising would be in order.
That having been said, the star of this "film," Marcel Schlutt is probably the hottest man I've seen in quite a while. Talk about a human being practically bred to push all my buttons.Of course, as is often the case in life, if you actually do an internet search and find his personal website, you'll find he's not quite the clean-cut kid he's portrayed as in the, erm, film. I could link you there, but this is a family friendly site. If you actually wanna view the site of this burgeoning porn star, you gotta look him up for yourself.
The review (nicked, as it were, from www.dvdverdict.com) cited above says it best:
"Marcel Schlutt is boyishly Tom-Cruise-cute and hosted a gay talk show on German television. He's personable and very animated in the interview, but in Locked Up, he just looks either sad or orgasmic, with no range between the two. I thought Schlutt was bad, until Mike Sale entered the picture. His performance is awkward, and his line delivery is several notches below the average cue-card reader. They must have named his character Mike so he would have one less word to struggle with. The guards all perfectly cast for their intended look: big, burly, and buzz-cut, but they don't sound 'threatening' at all. Ya just wanna give 'em a great big hug, and tell 'em, 'Find a real job in supermarket security, buddy. Maybe you can intimidate some housewife trying to feed her kid a free donut before checkout.'"In any case, I'm embarrassed to have this one on my rental history. I'd rather watch The Last Year again than think that Big Brother is seeing this title listed when he uses the (Un)Patriot Act to subpeona my records. God help me.
Whew. Glad I got that off my chest.
Now will anyone think ill of me if I move to Germany and try to track this guy down? Wowza!
1 comment:
Actually not. In fact that was my idea too :P. About the movie... I read enough bad critics about it, so I am pretty sure I wont ever see it, EVER. I just want to keep the nice images of Schlutt in my head ;)
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