Welcome Home

"Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home."

- Bill Cosby

I know, it's been a while since I've posted. Mea culpa.

I left last Wednesday for a quick trip back to Pittsburgh. Thursday was the one-year anniversary of my dad's passing, and it was also All Soul's Day, that day when Catholics remember everyone who's passed in the previous year. Most of my siblings gathered for the mass, and I got elected to be the one to tote the candle to the little alter when my dad's name was called.

They kinda caught me off guard, 'cuz they called the names in chronological order. Since my dad died on All Souls Day last, he was first.

Anyway, it was delightful to see my mom.

She's looking incredibly well, I have to say, for a little old lady whose extremities are in full revolt. She hobbles around on her cane, or on a walker, but I have to say her spirits are remarkably better than I would have expected, given that she was approaching the first anniversary of the death of her husband, and they'd been married for 55 years.

So, we went to the mass on Thursday night, and on Friday, I toted my sister Lois off to pick up her prescription (she had a knee replaced), and then took my mom to lunch at Smokey Bones, a new (to me) BBQ joint in the mall at Robinson Town Center.

It was a lovely afternoon. I don't remember the last time I got to spend one-on-one time with my mom. And I think she probably appreciated the chance to get out of the house.

I'll say this for my family: They're suvivors.

I already mentioned Lois, who's recovering from having a knee replaced. Apparently her heart stopped on the operating table, and she spent five days in intensive care after the surgery.

WTF?

The kicker there is that no one bothered to call me when all this was going on. I guess it's a lesson in being proactive about keeping in touch.

Then there's Sue, the angel who let's me stay with her when I'm in town. She just had her foot operated on, and she's hobbling around with a huge splint/cast/boot on her foot. She spends most nights after work going to my mom's to take care of my mom and Lois.

And there's my brother Patrick. He's got more going on in his life than I could ever possibly deal with. I don't know how he does it.

I don't know how any of them do.

I'm a very lucky person to have the life I do, the friends I do, the job I do.

I'm not sayin', I'm just sayin'.

On Friday evening, I had hoped to have drinks with a bunch of old friends. Hoping that it would be more convenient for everyone involved in a show or with some life otherwise, I'd sent an evite to nearly thirty people, hoping to catch as many in one place as I could.

Alas, three showed up.

One of those who did was the beloved Kenjiman. I hadn't seen him since his move back to Pittsburgh in August.

[I must have been truly traumatized by his departure... I just looked back and found that I didn't even blog about it! There's no way to be Cool Blog Guy™ when you have to admit to sobbing on the walk to the train after putting your friend on his moving truck and sending him off.]

I well and truly miss me some Kenjiman. I don't think I understood while he was around just how big a part of my life he was. I was heartbroken when The Lagemæ left New York. They were the dearest of friends, but because they were a couple and had rather busy lives of their own, I probably only saw them a couple times a month.

But Kenjiman was my Social Director, without whom I would have sat in front of the TV most nights, and I often saw him two or three times a week, and most every weekend.

I've learned to fare for myself since his departure — I'm at least getting out and exploring on my own, and trying to meet new and interesting people — but the loss is still keenly felt.

Friday evening, before the aborted gathering to which only a few came, Kenjiman and I had dinner together and did some serious catching up. Saturday evening, we had dinner and saw a late movie. It felt great, I have to tell you.

He's got an amazing apartment in the Bloomfield neighborhood that would cost over $3000 a month here in NYC, which is great, but he's also having a terrible time finding steady, well-paying work. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for him.

I do surely miss my friend.

But all things change, and though he's not physically around so much anymore, I at least get my share of him in e-mails. So there's that, at least.