My plan for world domination has many facets.
Part of that plan involves fooling people into thinking that I'm actually a caring, interested person, and I've developed the perfect method to convince them I'm a saint among men.
Herewith, I share this bauble of Power with you so that you, too, may rule the world. Or at least cultivate a much better reputation.
When I run into people and greet them, I try not to let the conversations fall into the typical pattern:
That exchange, shared among countless plebes in countless offices in countless cities across the soon-to-be-mine globe just reeks of indifference for one's fellow man.
So to give everyone around me the illusion that I am not just another thoughtless, rote-greeting boob, I like to mess with the pattern a little. It gives the illusion that I actually care enough about you to inquire, and gives me the aura of a person who doesn't ask rote questions to which he expects a rote answer:
See? Just a couple of extra words — no extra concentration, mind you, just a slight re-arrangement of the usual, stale patterns of disengagement — and you're instantly thought of as a genuine, caring person!
People are such sheep. It won't be long 'til I'm the King of the Shears.
Part of that plan involves fooling people into thinking that I'm actually a caring, interested person, and I've developed the perfect method to convince them I'm a saint among men.
Herewith, I share this bauble of Power with you so that you, too, may rule the world. Or at least cultivate a much better reputation.
When I run into people and greet them, I try not to let the conversations fall into the typical pattern:
[Joe and Foolish Victim enter the pantry at The Velvet Prison™]
Foolish Victim: "Hello, Joe. How are you?"
Me: "Hello, Foolish Victim, I'm fine. You?"
Foolish Victim: "I'm great, thanks."
That exchange, shared among countless plebes in countless offices in countless cities across the soon-to-be-mine globe just reeks of indifference for one's fellow man.
So to give everyone around me the illusion that I am not just another thoughtless, rote-greeting boob, I like to mess with the pattern a little. It gives the illusion that I actually care enough about you to inquire, and gives me the aura of a person who doesn't ask rote questions to which he expects a rote answer:
[Joe and Foolish Victim enter the pantry at The Velvet Prison™]
Joe: "Good morning, Foolish Victim!"
Foolish Victim [thrown when expected "How are you?" Doesn't follow greeting]: "Hi, Joe.... how are you?"
Joe: "I'm very well thanks. [pause for eye contact] How are things with you?"
Foolish Victim: "I'm pretty well... it's a good day so far."
Joe: "Excellent. You be well."
See? Just a couple of extra words — no extra concentration, mind you, just a slight re-arrangement of the usual, stale patterns of disengagement — and you're instantly thought of as a genuine, caring person!
People are such sheep. It won't be long 'til I'm the King of the Shears.
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