The Good Old Days

I miss the good old days, when:

1. National elections happened over the course of a year, not spread out over three.
   
2. You could tell someone was a homo by his earring and his propensity to sleep with men.
   
3. If you passed some grizzled motherfucker talking to himself on the street, you could just assume he was crazy and didn't have to check for his bluetooth earpiece.
   
4. People who looked like they were twelve actually were, and not Millennials with more fucking money than I'll ever dream of having.
   
5. People on sidewalks actually treated sidewalks as though they were divided in two by an imaginary line, and stayed on the right fucking side.
   
6. I was a carefree little devil, who was never riled by other people's stupidity.
   

I'm just saying.